/* Quote File Auto Converted to Arexx by Zonkerz */
xx=random(1,31,time('s'))
select
when xx=1 then a="1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies."
when xx=2 then a="2. In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sensual massage.'"
when xx=3 then a="3. Specify that your drive-through order is 'to go.'"
when xx=4 then a="4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others."
when xx=5 then a="5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets."
when xx=6 then a="6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions 'to keep them tuned up.'"
when xx=7 then a="7. Reply to everything someone says with 'that's what YOU think.'"
when xx=8 then a="8. Practice making fax and modem noises."
when xx=9 then a="9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and 'cc' them to your boss."
when xx=10 then a="10. Finish all your sentences with the words 'in accordance with prophesy.'"
when xx=11 then a="11. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears."
when xx=12 then a="12. Disassemble your pen and 'accidentally' flip the ink cartridge across the room."
when xx=13 then a="13. Holler random numbers while someone is counting."
when xx=14 then a="14. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you 'like it that way.'"
when xx=15 then a="15. Staple papers in the middle of the page."
when xx=16 then a="16. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a 'croaking' noise."
when xx=17 then a="17. Honk and wave to strangers."
when xx=18 then a="18. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register."
when xx=19 then a="19. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE."
when xx=20 then a="20. type only in lowercase."
when xx=21 then a="21. dont use any punctuation either"
when xx=22 then a="22. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets."
when xx=23 then a="23. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: 'Do you hear that?' 'What?' 'Never mind, it's gone now.'"
when xx=24 then a="24. As much as possible, skip rather than walk."
when xx=25 then a="25. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce, 'no, wait, I messed it up,' and repeat."
when xx=26 then a="26. Ask people what gender they are."
when xx=27 then a="27. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet."
when xx=28 then a="28. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down."
when xx=29 then a="29. Sing along at the opera."
when xx=30 then a="30. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme."
when xx=31 then a="31. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about 'psychological profiles.'"
